This one always gets me.
At the moment of that photo, this is all I had in the world. The clothes on my back and that bag. Wet, bathed in smoke, burnt on my right arm, and no idea what in the world I was going to do next. The thoughts show clearly on my face: anger, sadness and uncertainty.
It's interesting to see a snapshot of a moment of life that is this concise and accurate.
There's been so many conversations that have made me realize and remember everything that was destroyed. Family heirlooms, achievements, memories...
Two porcelain geisha statues brought back by my great-grandfather after World War 2, my piles of writing notebooks full of short stories, poems, notes and ideas going back to 1998, costumes and play bills from 15 years worth of shows, press clippings, photos, gifts from loved ones; the list goes on.
I'm not unique in this. Many have gone through this exact process. Two separate friends who had their homes burn down reached out with tips for getting the smoke smell out of the items you retrieve from the house.
It's surreal honestly. When you think about or discuss it, it's like a funeral. You're discussing things that have meaning and fondness, but that aren't there anymore.
But then you realize you're just feeling sorry for yourself and feel a little guilty.
Gladly I have not had much time for moping. There's deadlines to hit, shows to get ready for and an amazing network of friends and loved ones that have been more wonderful and supportive than I could ever have imagined or hoped for.
I am sad for what I've lost. I'm also grateful for the clarity it has granted me. Sometimes you have to lose everything to see what really matters. I'm not recommending this particular circumstance, but I have realized that the love I have received since this happened has been worth more than anything that I lost.
For that, I humbly thank each and every one of you that has reached out and offered your assistance.
It may sound cliche, but it is so very real in a way more meaningful than words can convey. The people in your life matter so much more than the accoutrements that encapsulate our existence. Take that to heart, and any time life knocks you down, focus your heart and soul into moving forward and into pouring all of your energy and emotion into the people you love. Do it until you have no energy left to be bitter, sad or angry.
So if you have a chance today, reach out to someone you love. See how you can help them. Do something kind and unexpected for someone you care about. It will mean more to them than you know. It will mean more to you'll expect.
My thanks. My love. My undying gratitude.
~Gideon Hodge
