Dukkha: Suffering of the Mundane

Dukkha: The suffering of mundane life.

And we all have it.

This is important of late because I know there are often times the need to see our own suffering as unique. And, in it's own way, it is. It's yours. It's the combination of your losses, insecurities, experiences and unmet desires.

You are not alone.

Dukkha is also the reminder that we all suffer, to some degree. We all have some anxiety, something depressing or frustrating us, some burning want that we can never seem to attain.

We each deal with it in different ways. Dancing, performance, alcohol, drugs, socializing, not socializing, reading, writing, screaming into a pillow, naked ice cream wrestling with friends.

... You get the picture.

We can each find our own path away from suffering and toward happiness.

Where things become problematic, is when we take this Dukkha out on others, and make it their suffering. This is not okay. Yes, there are a million excuses as to why we should be allowed, because of our unique suffering, but they remain just that, excuses. Taking out your frustrations upon those around you is no longer your suffering, it's abuse.

Even the Zen Master overcame something to become that way. We may never know if they lost their wife and two children in a blazing car wreck, followed it with five years of depression and alcoholism before finding their Zen journey. We don't know. We can't assume the happy, successful person doesn't struggle with demons they never let the world see.

The point of this is, dealing with these demons and moving forward, even though it may be terrifying at the time, it leads to you being stronger, healthier and happier in the long run.
As someone who pulled themselves out of years of suicidal depression, and that's the nice, happy, abridged version; I promise this is true.

Our suffering becomes like this familiar, comfortable blanket that we keep on us, because it keeps us safe. It keeps us from venturing forth and potentially failing at bettering ourselves. It makes us always right, because as we wrap that blanket of excuses and fear tighter around us, it reinforces that there is no way to change our situation.

And that blanket slowly strangles us.

I say this, not to be mean or callous. I say this, because I hate to see people suffering. And the whole point of Dukkha is that much of our suffering is self made. We breathe, we challenge, we move forward, we grow. Yes, we fall, and hurt, and fail, and shatter along the way. But we heal, we observe, we learn, and we grow some more.

I challenge each of you to find some way to overcome your Dukkha today and this week. Do some quick research for ways others have overcome your particular suffering, and try it. And if it doesn't work, try something else. Keep trying.

The growing pains hurt less in the long run than the pain your feeling now stretched out forever.

Be good to yourselves, and be good to each other.

~Cheers

Barely Holding On

And sometimes just a few words can wreck you; making you question your self worth.

For anyone that feels you need to "reality check" an artistic friend for getting too caught up in what they do, let me share something with you.

Many of them are fully, overwhelmingly aware of how little what they do matters to the world at large. Every time they perform to a small audience, every time they're knuckled under on price, every time a project falls apart or is poorly received.

They're often far more aware of their own short comings and failures than the world around them will ever know.

Because the stories of our losses only matter years after the fact, when we get to talk about how they kept pushing. If they didn't give up. If they didn't let their friends and loved ones "realistic" advice trying to help us see the "real world".

We see it. And we fight every day to survive in it. In a world that may not value what we do. But we'll do it anyway in our vain hope that we'll maybe bring a little light to the world. That we might make someone smile, or move them, or challenge them to be their best self.

We may just be using our art to deal with an angry, scary, sordid world that we don't understand. And this is our way of making sense of it.

So before you feel the need to tear us down, to "bring us back to earth", stop. And know for just a moment that some of us are barely standing. And with shaking knees, bleeding feet and tear soaked eyes, we hope for tomorrow, for another chance to touch the world in a positive way, or maybe just make it through one more day with our sanity intact.

Thank you very much.

Endgame: A Changing of the Times

There were amazing moments in this film from start to finish. The oft overlooked writing team even figured out a way to spike our emotional energy right back to where it was at the eerie and heart wrenching ending of Infinity War in the opening scene with Hawkeye.

And whereas the battles were epic, the exchanges between characters were both classic and fresh and the stakes were never higher, there was something else afoot.

I first noticed it when Captain America is standing alone against Thanos and his army rolls in. We think Cap and the whole mission is doomed, when Falcon and the Wakandan army show up to save the day! Then there is the epic moment when the main female characters rally around the gauntlet like a rugby team, ready to push the goal the last few yards. Captain America handing over the mantle to Falcon. Thor handing over leadership of Asgard to Valkyrie.

Although each moment in and of itself was fun, I believe this was about more than fan service. Marvel was making a statement, or perhaps reiterating one in case we had missed it previously. It's scary to some, exhilarating to others, and perhaps a little controversial at the moment. But I think it was this:

It is not an old white man's world anymore.

Although the heroic ending for Tony Stark and the poetic ending for Captain America brings us immense and satisfying closer for each character, as well as releases Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans to move on to other projects, it was also a closing of that chapter of history. This entire film was a passing of the torch, a changing of the guard, a recognition of times changing and of them needing to change.

And this is not to say that white men no longer have a place in this future. Quill and Thor are rushing off to make trouble in the cosmos. Dr. Strange is still protecting us from supernatural evil. Spiderman is still the spunky, youthful New Yorker we've always known. (But now with a diverse cast of supporting characters we had not seen previously) Life continues, but now with room for everyone to shine. And thus the rising of one star does not necessarily mean the setting of another. The Marvel universe will continue with brilliant vibrance, but also with inclusion and diversity.

As a life long fan, I am eager to see what the next arc from Marvel will be. But I'm also glad that my friends from various backgrounds can sit at these theatres with me and feel like they're represented in what is going on onscreen as well. It was a beautiful bookend to an epic saga the likes of which we have never seen before, ending a story 20 films in the making.

I don't know what lies ahead for Marvel, and I deeply hope that they keep up the same level of engaging storytelling that many other franchises have wavered on of late. But I do know that it will not be the Marvel we grew up with. It will not be the Marvel that we remember, and that's okay. Old characters with new faces like Captain Marvel and Nick Fury may be jarring to some people, but for the people that are concerned about this, I would invite you to look at the smiles on all the faces of children and adults that now believe that they can be heroes too. I think it might change your mind.

Hats off Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely for the amazing writing. Kudos to Anthony and Joe Russo for bringing this vision to life. All of my love for the actors that have embodied all of my favorite heroes in ways that I had never seen before they stepped into those shoes. And to Marvel, for giving us this amazing saga that has truly changed the game forever.

And to Stan... Excelsior!